The Power of Groups
Posted by Dr. Matthew Calkins, Psy.D.
Saturday, December 6 2008

“What struck us again and again - from the early 20th century to the present was that the group - and not the group therapist - is the agent of personal change. Though it was in front of our eyes from the start, it took some 70 years to appreciate and begin to utilize therapeutically the awesome metamorphosing might of the group. We can now accept the group, as a whole, as a force for growth which no therapist can equal” - Louis Ormont, 2001

All individuals are members of a group. Consider the family, the workplace; consider all the communities to which one holds some affiliation Whether by choice or not, we are all members of some larger social body.

As we enter a community, we are inevitably influenced by it culture, its rules and boundaries, its leadership, and so on. Groups are terrifically powerful. They shape us. No doubt, a collection of people have more influence than an individual.

Even further, groups are complex. The group can help a person grow and thrive while at the same time, limiting growth. At one moment, a group can contribute to a sense of belonging and support, and at another, can threaten one with a loss of freedom. The group holds the promise of connection, but often reminds one of their isolation.

Conclusion. We can't avoid groups, and we often don't quite know how to make them work for us.

This is where group psychotherapy begins to make sense as a treatment option. While numerous problems can best be addressed in individual therapy, its important to consider treating relational issues, or issues stemming from groups (one's family, for instance) in a group context.

To learn more about groups, consider visiting the American Group Psychotherapy's website at American Group Psychotherapy Association.

My Formula Stopped Working!
Posted by Dr. Matthew Calkins, Psy.D.
Thursday, April 17 2008

No denying it: We like formulas, lists and such. Finding evidence that X reliably causes Y, that good plans lead to great outcomes is as basic a drive as eating. Its reassuring in some basic, fundamental way to make sense of things, to fit ideas and experiences into categories, draw conclusions and move on to the next challenge. Although its upsetting when X doesn't lead to Y, one of our real strengths (and maybe downfalls) is that we can modify the formula just ever so slightly so that it keeps working smoothly.

Here's an example:

Formula: If you work hard, you'll be successful. (I thought I'd start with a truly American formula)

Take for instance, the high achieving college graduate who can't get a job. To right this situation and maintain the integrity of the formula, she decides that it is entirely her fault that she is not employed. She didn't work hard enough, because she is lazy. Or maybe she just doesn't really have the smarts and the skills. The point I'm getting to in this drawn out way is that people seem willing to experience pain and misery so that orderliness can be maintained.

Despite the slightly critical tone, I am very aware of the value of order. Without it, we wouldn't be able to communicate our ideas, or accomplish anything. But adhering to logic and reason more often than not results in a kind of neglect to our 'other parts.'

Imagine if you stopped yourself for 10 minutes, and had nothing in your mind. You aren't planning dinner, or wondering how you're going to manage to take your car into be repaired. You're listening.

Like the ocean, sometimes you'd hear tranquil, lapping waves. Good, peaceful times. My guess is that if that college student broke away from her formula, she'd hear something powerful within herself - separate from any predictable, prefabricated path. She'd hear great, roaring surf. Sounds much better than self-punishment.

The Function of Road Rage
Posted by Dr. Matthew Calkins, Psy.D.
Monday, April 14 2008

The traffic in Los Angeles is a problem that won't go away any time soon, and seems to get worse each year. Undeniably, traffic is a frustration. For some, frustration quickly shifts into anger, and even rage. As an experience, rage is unaware of limits and feeds off itself. Behind the weight and speed of a car, road rage can become deadly.

How is it that certain people become vulnerable to road rage experiences? The anonymity of the freeway, in which people follow a line and are separated by glass, metal and concrete provides some with a kind of safety to experience anger.

More or less, we live in a culture that often labels anger and conflict as problems. We strive to get along and not 'rock the boat.' However, how does one work with feelings of anger when they are present? Given that anger is as human a feeling as sorrow, the dilemma faced by the angry person is clear. For people who grew up in environments that did not acknowledge or respect the value of disagreement, the freeway is a perfect opportunity to feel anger without shame or fear. The problem is...its extremely dangerous.

So how often have you worked through the day to avoid conflict with those around you, and then found yourself incredibly angry in the depersonalized world of the freeways? Perhaps finding a place to vent these feelings that doesn't put you and others at risk would be worth looking into.

Slow Beginnings
Posted by Dr. Matthew Calkins, Psy.D.
Wednesday, April 2 2008

In time, I will begin blogging with some frequency. At the moment, I'm still completing the content of the website, but look forward to sharing ideas and knowledge. Expect more soon.